S1.2 - Journal entry - "Of physical and not so physical pain"

Anna's Diary - don't read don't touch don't anything

Oh my god, I didn't sign up for this shit. I mean, I did, but that's not the point. Everything hurts. It feels like someone hit me with a sledgehammer right against the left half of my rib cage. A sledgehammer that was on fire or something, fuck. Note to self, don't get freaking shot. There's still some sand stuck in my mouth too and it just sends the worst kind of shivers down my spine whenever I feel the grains grinding between my teeth. 

I completely blame Limp for this, you know. You don't just go shooting stuff out of nowhere. Bad plan. At least inform your crew first that you're gonna pull a kamikaze stunt before dragging them into it or something. Fuck I'll write the eulogy to your burial and read it with tears streaming down my face and tell the world how big of a suicidal hero you were – just don't get us all fucking shot. I'm gonna kick his ass as soon as I get the chance and as soon as I can properly move. 

I also miss my baby, my beautiful, shiny, chrome ship baby. She was so beautiful. I just installed new shield modifiers too. Oh no my work bench. My beautiful work bench. I miss my work bench too. 

Now we're aboard some rusty, old light freighter. It's not her fault that she's rusty, she was clearly neglected. Her name is Krayt Fang. Mother always used to say that when a pet dies, you immediately need to adopt a new one to lessen the hurt. Mother never was the best with coping mechanisms, but I think I understand now. 

Having my ship baby taken away from me really left me with a feeling of emptiness, loss. It really was my baby, there wasn't a square inch that I didn't do some tinkering on at some point. But adopting (cough stealing cough) this old granny, it lessens the blow. She got quite hurt during our daring escape, but she hung in there. She didn't blow up on us, the energy shields moved like they had too. 

There is some real fire and potential in our Granny Fang and I can't wait to restore her back to her former glory. And give her a wicked spray paint job. Gonna ask Na'hosa to set some funds aside in the future for it. 

I mean, if we ever get paid again, for anything. Being on the run suuuuuucks. 



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